If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthian 13:1-8
God has been pounding this into me for a few months now and using my children to do it. As you know, he's been showing me His heart is toward His children, including myself. I believe that our children are not just brought to us to fill a desire to be a parent one day, or just so we can potentially raise more disciples, or to experience those sweet joys that children bring. Those are valid reasons, but not all of them. They are also brought to us so that we can hopefully come to grips at the magnitude of God's love for us personally.
One of my children has lately been my biggest parenting challenge as she is my most strong-willed and independent of the three. I think she really believes that her way is always the right way, and that her mommy has really lost her mind when it comes to asking things of her. When she knows she's in trouble, she runs away, and isn't really open to instruction or correction yet. It seems to just bounce right off of her. When she is being asked to do something, she always gives her opinion of what she wants to do instead or how she thinks she should do it. When it's my idea to ask for a hug or kiss, only half the time she responds to it well. And sadly, she's even said some things lately that indicate that she doesn't feel very loved all the time. It really is heartbreaking when it comes down to it. And I take full responsibility for the lack of love that she can receive or the false conceptions she has of my love for her. I am human and have obviously made many mistakes as a parent, and am already facing the consequences for it through having a child who doesn't completely trust my love toward her at the age of 4.
So here's the kicker....aren't we that same way as God's children though? Why do we disobey Him, run from Him, doubt His love for us, not want to spend daily time with him, etc.? Those things are a bi-product of us just simply not trusting His heart toward us...or receiving His love for us the way He is trying to give it out freely. Yet the difference between Him and me is, His love is perfect! It knows no bounds, it is always there waiting to scoop us up into the safety of His arms, to drive out fear, to drive out shame, to drive out the things that keep us bound within ourselves. It brings rest in our hearts, a safe place for us to go, boldness in our confessions and repentance, therefore it brings us freedom from ourselves...and directly into the Christ-filled life that He promises, and we can't help but pour it out into others because we are overflowing with it...but only if we receive all of Him into all of us. All!
My love for my children is actually very limited because I live in the flesh still. We as human flesh are pretty conditional lovers. But I actually had a glimpse recently of what happens when I was able to receive God's love fully, and it was amazing! I was able to pour out endless grace to my children, love them unconditionally, discipline with love, not a hint of anger came out, I put my own selfishness and hurts aside, and was able shower love to my kids from the depths of my heart. They were spotless in my eyes...and that is exactly how God sees us always. But when I'm allowing guilt, fear, shame and condemnation come upon myself, that is what comes out to others, mainly my husband and kids. I start doing things that make them feel the same way. So how do I stop it before it starts? Receive God's love for me fully.
So when it all comes down to it, what we are receiving from the Father, is ultimately gonna come out to those around us. What is coming out of you? God's love...or the opposite of!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Words to Chew On
These are some exerpts from some of Beth Moore's books/studies that are compiled in a little min-book of mine. Thought I'd put some out there that leaped out at me and I believe are worth chewing on.
--Please beware! A head full of biblical knowledge without a heart passionately in love with Christ is terribly dangerous, a stronghold waiting to happen. The head is full, but the heart and soul are unsatisfied. Satan knows that we all long for passion. If we are not given to godly passion, we will be tempted by counterfeits.
--A powerful motivation for believing God in our present is intentionally remembering how He's worked in our past.
--If in our pursuit of knowledge, God seems to have gotten smaller, we have been deceived.
--The key to answered prayer is sharing the mind of Christ over any given matter through His words actively abiding in us.
--Part of Satan's ploy is to make his victims "feel" addicted and powerless.
--Believers are only powerless in their own strength, yet God has promised to provide a way of escape for every temptation.
--God's Word is our Sword of the Spirit, but we have to learn to use it if we are to be a powerful force for the kingdom and against the darkness.
--People with a genuine heart for God cannot remain in a practice of sin. At some point they will cry out in total desperation for deliverance. For those who have walked closely with God, the desire for a return to His intimate favor finally exceeds the lure of the seducer.
"Lord, many or the woes of the wicked, but your unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in You." Ps. 32:10
"The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid? Ps. 27:1
"They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor" Isaiah 61:3
"The LORD will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11
--Please beware! A head full of biblical knowledge without a heart passionately in love with Christ is terribly dangerous, a stronghold waiting to happen. The head is full, but the heart and soul are unsatisfied. Satan knows that we all long for passion. If we are not given to godly passion, we will be tempted by counterfeits.
--A powerful motivation for believing God in our present is intentionally remembering how He's worked in our past.
--If in our pursuit of knowledge, God seems to have gotten smaller, we have been deceived.
--The key to answered prayer is sharing the mind of Christ over any given matter through His words actively abiding in us.
--Part of Satan's ploy is to make his victims "feel" addicted and powerless.
--Believers are only powerless in their own strength, yet God has promised to provide a way of escape for every temptation.
--God's Word is our Sword of the Spirit, but we have to learn to use it if we are to be a powerful force for the kingdom and against the darkness.
--People with a genuine heart for God cannot remain in a practice of sin. At some point they will cry out in total desperation for deliverance. For those who have walked closely with God, the desire for a return to His intimate favor finally exceeds the lure of the seducer.
"Lord, many or the woes of the wicked, but your unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in You." Ps. 32:10
"The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid? Ps. 27:1
"They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor" Isaiah 61:3
"The LORD will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11
Friday, October 9, 2009
What Do We REALLY Want?
The past week has been an on and off week. There seems to be a little more of a battle going on within me than there has been in a month or so. Right now, there's a lot of just willing and choosing going on when my heart doesn't feel into keeping the fellowship with the Lord each day. I've found though that I shouldn't ignore my feelings though as they do help identify that there is something off and I need to go to the Father and ask Him to reveal that to me. He knows me more than I do in every moment I take a breath and there is nothing to hide or be afraid of...in fact, quite the contrary. I should find rest in Him alone when nothing else gives me rest. He is my Refuge, my Comfort. Even when my heart isn't where it should be, He is there waiting to welcome me back with open arms.
I came out of an incredible time of prayer and worship Monday night with my prayer "sisters" that felt like it should have kept me filled for days. Yet, the next day, there was a sudden emptiness that didn't make a lot of sense. How could I be so filled then so empty so fast. I really haven't figured out where the "filling" went. I could throw it out there as the enemy, the flesh, anything that is NOT God trying to hinder the flow of the Spirit in me. And there is Truth in that. I've felt a sense of apathy about some things that have come out of nowhere too. But at the crux of all of this, I've been hearing this voice in my mind and heart asking me over and over, "What is it you want today Bethany?" It's a still small voice that I know is from the Lord. Because it really gives me pause about what my prayers have been to Him. "Lord, I pray for a financial miracle". "Lord, keep my marriage moving in the right direction". "Lord, give me the right heart toward my children". And they are good things to ask if they are asked with the right motive, which begs the question, "If these things are not answered when and how I want them answered, would I be content with the unbroken fellowship that the Father desires more than anything with me." If these things weren't falling in line with my prayers, yet my relationsip with my Father was growing in leaps and bounds, would He be enough to sustain my heart even in disappointment?
Mainly, it's the finances right now that come to mind when that question enters my mind. Because I feel He is answering the other prayers in leaps and bounds. My parenting approach is changing, not without some slip-ups of course, but all in all my heart is changing toward my children just as I have asked. And it's great! My marriage is better than it's ever been. My husband and I are both growing in the same direction with the Lord and it's exciting. But if he decides to hold back on the financial blessings that we are asking for, but in that holding back, we in the end stay closer to the Father because of it, can we stay content with that? And truthfully, at this point, I probably am not discontent enough when I feel a distance from Him. I do feel lost and know I need to spend that time with him, but it usually takes a point of desperacy finally to make me run back into His arms.
Now on the other hand, at this point, if I were to have to choose between a huge bonus check in the bank or unbroken fellowship with my Father, my heart wants to choose the latter. And that is not said because it's a church answer. And I used to not be able to say that in all honesty. I truly am starting to believe that God is enough. Now He may test me with other things in my life besides money that will ultimately make me doubt, be afraid, get mad, and have some fits I'm sure of it because we still live in the flesh that likes to rear it's ugly head. But I love that I am at this place where I know deep down in my heart that the sweet love, peace, rest and joy that comes from living in His presence is something money or earthy goods will never bring. So I am changing my prayers to "My soul finds rest in you alone, God. For my salvation comes from you". "As the deer pants for streams of water, my soul pants for you God." Will I still ask for a financial miracle, sure, because that is a faith prayer knowing He can do it and I don't think He wants us to stop asking for miracles? But if it comes in the place of what God is accomplishing in our relationship with Him, than no thanks! He can hold off if that is what it takes.
This is that surrender and reckless abandon that God wants us to get to so that we can finally know through experience, growth, and wisdom that He is our true, deep desire. He has always been our desire. It's just that a large percentage of the population just doesn't realize that. They are filling it with everything else they can find. And if He so chooses to bless us with earthly goods, wonderful, but we are to understand that He will give and He will take away, only so we can find Him again...and have unbroken fellowship with the Father once and for all.
I came out of an incredible time of prayer and worship Monday night with my prayer "sisters" that felt like it should have kept me filled for days. Yet, the next day, there was a sudden emptiness that didn't make a lot of sense. How could I be so filled then so empty so fast. I really haven't figured out where the "filling" went. I could throw it out there as the enemy, the flesh, anything that is NOT God trying to hinder the flow of the Spirit in me. And there is Truth in that. I've felt a sense of apathy about some things that have come out of nowhere too. But at the crux of all of this, I've been hearing this voice in my mind and heart asking me over and over, "What is it you want today Bethany?" It's a still small voice that I know is from the Lord. Because it really gives me pause about what my prayers have been to Him. "Lord, I pray for a financial miracle". "Lord, keep my marriage moving in the right direction". "Lord, give me the right heart toward my children". And they are good things to ask if they are asked with the right motive, which begs the question, "If these things are not answered when and how I want them answered, would I be content with the unbroken fellowship that the Father desires more than anything with me." If these things weren't falling in line with my prayers, yet my relationsip with my Father was growing in leaps and bounds, would He be enough to sustain my heart even in disappointment?
Mainly, it's the finances right now that come to mind when that question enters my mind. Because I feel He is answering the other prayers in leaps and bounds. My parenting approach is changing, not without some slip-ups of course, but all in all my heart is changing toward my children just as I have asked. And it's great! My marriage is better than it's ever been. My husband and I are both growing in the same direction with the Lord and it's exciting. But if he decides to hold back on the financial blessings that we are asking for, but in that holding back, we in the end stay closer to the Father because of it, can we stay content with that? And truthfully, at this point, I probably am not discontent enough when I feel a distance from Him. I do feel lost and know I need to spend that time with him, but it usually takes a point of desperacy finally to make me run back into His arms.
Now on the other hand, at this point, if I were to have to choose between a huge bonus check in the bank or unbroken fellowship with my Father, my heart wants to choose the latter. And that is not said because it's a church answer. And I used to not be able to say that in all honesty. I truly am starting to believe that God is enough. Now He may test me with other things in my life besides money that will ultimately make me doubt, be afraid, get mad, and have some fits I'm sure of it because we still live in the flesh that likes to rear it's ugly head. But I love that I am at this place where I know deep down in my heart that the sweet love, peace, rest and joy that comes from living in His presence is something money or earthy goods will never bring. So I am changing my prayers to "My soul finds rest in you alone, God. For my salvation comes from you". "As the deer pants for streams of water, my soul pants for you God." Will I still ask for a financial miracle, sure, because that is a faith prayer knowing He can do it and I don't think He wants us to stop asking for miracles? But if it comes in the place of what God is accomplishing in our relationship with Him, than no thanks! He can hold off if that is what it takes.
This is that surrender and reckless abandon that God wants us to get to so that we can finally know through experience, growth, and wisdom that He is our true, deep desire. He has always been our desire. It's just that a large percentage of the population just doesn't realize that. They are filling it with everything else they can find. And if He so chooses to bless us with earthly goods, wonderful, but we are to understand that He will give and He will take away, only so we can find Him again...and have unbroken fellowship with the Father once and for all.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
When God is Just Showing Off...
So I'm gonna turn the page here for a day and share a neat story that happened just yesterday. It has to do with a Kitchen-Aid Stand Mixer...yes you read right....a stand mixer. I have to admit over the past week there have been a lot of times where I have been having a bit of a pity party over myself due to the fact that my birthday is around the corner, not to mention all the fun holiday activities coming up over the next few months and with us in a financial crisis right now, we are having to give up a lot of "extras" which is making the upcoming season feel a bit daunting, having to accept that I will have to give up a lot of things I really want. Well, I have approached my birthday with a bit of melancholy thrown in knowing that we really don't have a lot of money to do a lot, nor would we have money for Tim to get me anything. I know it sounds selfish but hey I'm human and who doesn't want to be spoiled on their birthday when it comes down to it :).
Well, little did I know that God has had something up his sleeve all along only to show that he really does care about the little things in life that matter to us...and wants to bring us joy and happiness....even on our birthdays. I guess when you think of it, what "father" wouldn't want that for their daughter.
Well, in light of that, Tim with his wonderful gift-giving heart arranged to pull money together from my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law and ventured out last night to get me something that I've been wanting for over a decade....you guessed it....a Kitchen Aid Stand mixer, especially since now I'm thinking about getting into cake decorating.
Well, on his way out last night, he prayed that God would show His love and favor and help Tim find the best deal possible on a mixer so that he wouldn't have to shell out a lot of money himself because he knew how apprehensive I was about Tim spending any money on me right now. And lo and behold, God came through big-time. Tim went to 3 stores to find the best deal and at the 3rd store, there it was....a Kitchen Aide mixer for half the price Tim originally found it for...and he only had to shell $30 out of pocket himself with the money the others had given him to buy it for me...and most of you know how expensive those things are. We can't even afford something like this and God made a way anyways. Tim came home beaming and couldn't wait to tell me the story of a direct answer to his prayers...nor obviously could he wait to give me my gift on my birthday since I now already have it. So yes, I have my birthday gift that I've always wanted, and with no stress about the cost....God is sooo good...he really does care about the little gifts that bring us joy too...especially when He gets the glory for it...and He gets to watch His children's beaming faces when they open it. Now that is a testimony of the love of our Father.
And thank you my sweet husband, my awesome sis-in-law, my amazing mother-in-law, and of course God for blessing me with one of the best birthday presents ever. I can't wait to bake my first thing with it!! And just in time for the holiday season!! woohoo!!
Well, little did I know that God has had something up his sleeve all along only to show that he really does care about the little things in life that matter to us...and wants to bring us joy and happiness....even on our birthdays. I guess when you think of it, what "father" wouldn't want that for their daughter.
Well, in light of that, Tim with his wonderful gift-giving heart arranged to pull money together from my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law and ventured out last night to get me something that I've been wanting for over a decade....you guessed it....a Kitchen Aid Stand mixer, especially since now I'm thinking about getting into cake decorating.
Well, on his way out last night, he prayed that God would show His love and favor and help Tim find the best deal possible on a mixer so that he wouldn't have to shell out a lot of money himself because he knew how apprehensive I was about Tim spending any money on me right now. And lo and behold, God came through big-time. Tim went to 3 stores to find the best deal and at the 3rd store, there it was....a Kitchen Aide mixer for half the price Tim originally found it for...and he only had to shell $30 out of pocket himself with the money the others had given him to buy it for me...and most of you know how expensive those things are. We can't even afford something like this and God made a way anyways. Tim came home beaming and couldn't wait to tell me the story of a direct answer to his prayers...nor obviously could he wait to give me my gift on my birthday since I now already have it. So yes, I have my birthday gift that I've always wanted, and with no stress about the cost....God is sooo good...he really does care about the little gifts that bring us joy too...especially when He gets the glory for it...and He gets to watch His children's beaming faces when they open it. Now that is a testimony of the love of our Father.
And thank you my sweet husband, my awesome sis-in-law, my amazing mother-in-law, and of course God for blessing me with one of the best birthday presents ever. I can't wait to bake my first thing with it!! And just in time for the holiday season!! woohoo!!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Oh How He Loves
The song below really sums up what God is showing me in every aspect of my life these days. I've always said I knew God loved me but this past week I've realized that I never really understood completely what that looked like in my day-to-day life. He isn't out to punish me or call me on every thing I do wrong as I've thought for a very long time. I've realized now that His love doesn't work that way!
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18.
Punishment would make me fear him, not love him. So why would he want to punish me? He is love for goodness and His perfect love will drive out fear, not cause it.
On the contrary, the story of the prodigal son paints a perfect picture of God's heart toward us. Before the son even finished his sentence to his father when he returned to him, his father was already celebrating his return, not even wanting an opology but just happy to have his son. He knew what his son did but still just wanted the relationship and to show his love for him and nothing else.
Being "good", calling on God's name, confessing sin, or even worshipping Him will never make Him love me more than He already does, and sinning or doing the wrong thing will never make Him love me less. His love is perfect, matchless, and unchangeable...it is enough for me! And the only thing I am to "do" is receive it, live in it, and let Him do what He does best, loves!! And I can never do anything to earn it because it is already fully accomplished through His son Jesus. Jesus paid my price for me...so that I can live freely in God's love every minute of every day...no matter what I do or don't do! It is done! and I am undone by the awe of Him and His love for me!
How many of you have ever been undone by the truth of God's love for you? Or have you not really wanted to receive His love because you were scared of what it looked like? Ask the Lord to reveal what is holding you back from receiving His love the way He wants us to. Usually it's fear, shame, or a lie about God's character, or what His love even looks like...or a lie about how He sees you. His love is perfect and brings freedom, not fear or shame! The words to this song say it all!! May God's love become truth to you today...and every day.
Oh How He Loves:
He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane,
I am a tree Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Chorus:
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.
Yeah, He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves.
So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
when I think about the way
That he loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves He loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18.
Punishment would make me fear him, not love him. So why would he want to punish me? He is love for goodness and His perfect love will drive out fear, not cause it.
On the contrary, the story of the prodigal son paints a perfect picture of God's heart toward us. Before the son even finished his sentence to his father when he returned to him, his father was already celebrating his return, not even wanting an opology but just happy to have his son. He knew what his son did but still just wanted the relationship and to show his love for him and nothing else.
Being "good", calling on God's name, confessing sin, or even worshipping Him will never make Him love me more than He already does, and sinning or doing the wrong thing will never make Him love me less. His love is perfect, matchless, and unchangeable...it is enough for me! And the only thing I am to "do" is receive it, live in it, and let Him do what He does best, loves!! And I can never do anything to earn it because it is already fully accomplished through His son Jesus. Jesus paid my price for me...so that I can live freely in God's love every minute of every day...no matter what I do or don't do! It is done! and I am undone by the awe of Him and His love for me!
How many of you have ever been undone by the truth of God's love for you? Or have you not really wanted to receive His love because you were scared of what it looked like? Ask the Lord to reveal what is holding you back from receiving His love the way He wants us to. Usually it's fear, shame, or a lie about God's character, or what His love even looks like...or a lie about how He sees you. His love is perfect and brings freedom, not fear or shame! The words to this song say it all!! May God's love become truth to you today...and every day.
Oh How He Loves:
He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane,
I am a tree Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Chorus:
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.
Yeah, He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves.
So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
when I think about the way
That he loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves He loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves
Sunday, September 13, 2009
A New Perspective on Scripture
I just had to put a little 'aha' moment on here that I had a few days back. It might be kind of a "duh" thing for some of you but I think many of us in our Christian walk have been in a trap of reading scripture with the wrong intent or thinking that it is there for us to see our sin and our shortcomings and to give us all the do's and don't's of life...only to make us miss what God is trying to reveal through it.
I have been reading a book that my husband recommended to me which is awesome and in it, the whole point of the book is to reveal the character of Jesus and also the unchangeable, unfathomable love of God toward us and how to get out of the trap of trying to earn his love. It portrays Jesus in a way that I haven't even seen before and it's been beautiful.
Well, as I've been reading through the passages the past few days, I have started focusing in on how God's word is revealing who He is, not who I need to be, because praise God through Christ I already am victorious, Amen?!? The Bible is all about our relationship with Him!! Nothing else! We are merely required to receive nothing less than His love for us and to have to do nothing more than accept that it has been accomplished through Jesus Christ. It is not a book that is supposed to give us a bunch of do's and don't's of life. It is a book to help us know our Abba, our Father, our Creator of Heaven and earth and to learn why we are meant to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. After all the whole reason He created us is for His enjoyment. He wants a relationship with us. And it is only through that relationship is when the doing starts. Yes, obedience brings blessing, but when we obey with the wrong motive, it does not reap the reward God intends. We are not to try to earn His love one more second, just receive, and then the "doing" will outflow from that...and I believe that is when God is going to do immeasurable more than we can ask or seek.
So as I read through scripture now, I will be zero-ing in on the character of God through it and underlining, writing down anything that describes my Abba, my First Love so that I can once and for all get to know Him the way He wants me to.
This is not a new lesson to some I know, nor is it to me, but I think if we implement it, it will change everything we stand for, hope for, and dream for in our walk with Christ.
I have been reading a book that my husband recommended to me which is awesome and in it, the whole point of the book is to reveal the character of Jesus and also the unchangeable, unfathomable love of God toward us and how to get out of the trap of trying to earn his love. It portrays Jesus in a way that I haven't even seen before and it's been beautiful.
Well, as I've been reading through the passages the past few days, I have started focusing in on how God's word is revealing who He is, not who I need to be, because praise God through Christ I already am victorious, Amen?!? The Bible is all about our relationship with Him!! Nothing else! We are merely required to receive nothing less than His love for us and to have to do nothing more than accept that it has been accomplished through Jesus Christ. It is not a book that is supposed to give us a bunch of do's and don't's of life. It is a book to help us know our Abba, our Father, our Creator of Heaven and earth and to learn why we are meant to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. After all the whole reason He created us is for His enjoyment. He wants a relationship with us. And it is only through that relationship is when the doing starts. Yes, obedience brings blessing, but when we obey with the wrong motive, it does not reap the reward God intends. We are not to try to earn His love one more second, just receive, and then the "doing" will outflow from that...and I believe that is when God is going to do immeasurable more than we can ask or seek.
So as I read through scripture now, I will be zero-ing in on the character of God through it and underlining, writing down anything that describes my Abba, my First Love so that I can once and for all get to know Him the way He wants me to.
This is not a new lesson to some I know, nor is it to me, but I think if we implement it, it will change everything we stand for, hope for, and dream for in our walk with Christ.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Calling Out to the Deep
I'm gonna be even more personal today. I don't want to sound like what I am going through right now is something that I am alone in and that no one can relate to. Because I know this is a very wide-spread issue with many right now. I've heard it first hand from many. It is the issue of God's provision thru our finances. It's been a doozy for me lately and my sweet and long-suffering husband has been having to take the brunt of it from me which I hope he knows that I am so very sorry about. That is something I never want to add to his shoulders. But we are persevering and knowing that God has a purpose in all of this, even if right now we aren't feeling a lot of relief from this financial strife.
All that to say, I have been continuing my reading each day and have had to pause and stay with a few passages over the weekend that put me a day behind, which I'm just taking as God keeping me at His pace with me and not me trying to stick with a rigid schedule. No rules! Just relationship! I'm doing this simply to hear from God, listen to His instruction, and develop my relationship with Him. And I encourage those who are reading along with me to go at the pace God wants you to go. That is where you know it is a heart-driven journey with Him.
In Proverbs 1:32, it says "...whoever listens to Me will dwell secure and will be at ease; without dread of disaster."
I had a rough day Sunday fearing our finances again, knowing we had more bills than money in the bank. I didn't even know if we'd be able to buy groceries this week. It's a bit of a tense subject for Tim and I right now. But after talking it through on Sunday, we just decided to stop trying to figure it all out since it was bringing more strife, and to still our hearts, pray, and ask God to direct us through this. Questions I always am asking are, do I need to go back to work? Do we need to do more in cutting down on bills where we can, even if it's a little? What next, Lord? It's just hard to know what the right answers are in those moments when fear and doubt set in and have you confused. And I pretty much every morning wake up with this very think on my mind and the enemy tries to throw me off before my day even starts by bringing worrysome thoughts to me. But I'm learning how to combat it thank goodness. And I honestly don't have clear answers at this moment even about what our next step is, but I have to trust that God knows the end from the beginning and that since He is not worried, that I shouldn't be worried either. The Lord is still here, and very much speaking to me about waiting on Him and trusting Him, and I believe if anything that He is saying, "Stop trying to fix it all. I've got it under control."
Here are some verses that stuck out to me the last few days that confirm this is what He is saying:
Psalm 4:8 - In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for You, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.
Psalm 5:3 - In the morning You hear my voice, O Lord; in the morning I prepare a prayer for You and watch and wait for You to speak.
I love that our pastor preached on Luke 5 Sunday, which happens to be in my Bible reading today. Jesus shows up to who will be his first disciples soon after, and teaches them on their boat, He then asks them go out into the deep to catch their fish. They had been fishing all night and had caught nothing but had stayed in the more shallow end. So they did what He said and went out deeper, and soon after their nets were breaking from the overflow of fish that they were catching. It was then that they were humbled and felt very underserving to the point of repentance. But Jesus said that soon they wll be fishers of men. How many of us feel underserving of what God does for us, only for Him to turn around and use us to bless someone else. What amazes me in this story is, that after Jesus told them what he told them, they laid down everything they just caught and followed Him. Would we do that if he asked us to?
I'll be honest. I've been asking God what the "deep" means for Tim and I over trusting Him in our finances. What is it that we can do to show we trust Him to provide for us, even if it means discomfort to do so? The groveling certainly isn't doing us any good. I believe that our faithfessness is definitely one of the main things that is keeping God from showing Himself in the way He wants to. But at the same time, I also believe that even in our toughest circumstances that He allows, that is when He will accomplish His bigger purpose, and that is having more of us for Himself, than us giving ourselves to the things of this world (money, material things, etc). The disciples gave up everything they knew as "normal" to follow Him. And I see that happening in my own home and it hurts, but I think it will serve a much higher, eternal purpose than paying my next bill. Do we even want God to be our all in all? Tough questions but we will all have to answer Him one day. Are we in or are we not?
All that to say, I have been continuing my reading each day and have had to pause and stay with a few passages over the weekend that put me a day behind, which I'm just taking as God keeping me at His pace with me and not me trying to stick with a rigid schedule. No rules! Just relationship! I'm doing this simply to hear from God, listen to His instruction, and develop my relationship with Him. And I encourage those who are reading along with me to go at the pace God wants you to go. That is where you know it is a heart-driven journey with Him.
In Proverbs 1:32, it says "...whoever listens to Me will dwell secure and will be at ease; without dread of disaster."
I had a rough day Sunday fearing our finances again, knowing we had more bills than money in the bank. I didn't even know if we'd be able to buy groceries this week. It's a bit of a tense subject for Tim and I right now. But after talking it through on Sunday, we just decided to stop trying to figure it all out since it was bringing more strife, and to still our hearts, pray, and ask God to direct us through this. Questions I always am asking are, do I need to go back to work? Do we need to do more in cutting down on bills where we can, even if it's a little? What next, Lord? It's just hard to know what the right answers are in those moments when fear and doubt set in and have you confused. And I pretty much every morning wake up with this very think on my mind and the enemy tries to throw me off before my day even starts by bringing worrysome thoughts to me. But I'm learning how to combat it thank goodness. And I honestly don't have clear answers at this moment even about what our next step is, but I have to trust that God knows the end from the beginning and that since He is not worried, that I shouldn't be worried either. The Lord is still here, and very much speaking to me about waiting on Him and trusting Him, and I believe if anything that He is saying, "Stop trying to fix it all. I've got it under control."
Here are some verses that stuck out to me the last few days that confirm this is what He is saying:
Psalm 4:8 - In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for You, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.
Psalm 5:3 - In the morning You hear my voice, O Lord; in the morning I prepare a prayer for You and watch and wait for You to speak.
I love that our pastor preached on Luke 5 Sunday, which happens to be in my Bible reading today. Jesus shows up to who will be his first disciples soon after, and teaches them on their boat, He then asks them go out into the deep to catch their fish. They had been fishing all night and had caught nothing but had stayed in the more shallow end. So they did what He said and went out deeper, and soon after their nets were breaking from the overflow of fish that they were catching. It was then that they were humbled and felt very underserving to the point of repentance. But Jesus said that soon they wll be fishers of men. How many of us feel underserving of what God does for us, only for Him to turn around and use us to bless someone else. What amazes me in this story is, that after Jesus told them what he told them, they laid down everything they just caught and followed Him. Would we do that if he asked us to?
I'll be honest. I've been asking God what the "deep" means for Tim and I over trusting Him in our finances. What is it that we can do to show we trust Him to provide for us, even if it means discomfort to do so? The groveling certainly isn't doing us any good. I believe that our faithfessness is definitely one of the main things that is keeping God from showing Himself in the way He wants to. But at the same time, I also believe that even in our toughest circumstances that He allows, that is when He will accomplish His bigger purpose, and that is having more of us for Himself, than us giving ourselves to the things of this world (money, material things, etc). The disciples gave up everything they knew as "normal" to follow Him. And I see that happening in my own home and it hurts, but I think it will serve a much higher, eternal purpose than paying my next bill. Do we even want God to be our all in all? Tough questions but we will all have to answer Him one day. Are we in or are we not?
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