His Beloved: July 2008

As I was journaling last night for the first time in a while, I was reflecting on the past month and the ups and downs of trying to stay on this new path of eating habits. What a narrow path it has felt like, oh my! It was pretty easy the 1st week because at the time, I was desperate and willing to do anything to start feeling better and being functional again. I will say at this moment that

there has been some improvement in my mood-swings, energy level, etc. Yet I have had more days than I had hoped by this point where I have pretty much bombed on eating what I am supposed to, or not eating what I'm not supposed to, however you want to look at it. I'm still learning how to say no to some things, and ultimately yes to the right things. And there have been days where I don't feel so great physically, emotionally still and those days are when I wonder if this whole nutrition stuff is really working. And I've just wanted to quit some days.

And as I was getting my thoughts on paper last night, it really hit me how incredibly similar walking out our faith in Christ is so similar. When we feel good spiritually, it's easier to want to walk the straight and narrow, to do what God asks us to do, to speak so highly of how wonderful Jesus is, to read the Bible, feed on His word, etc. And in those times, the not-so-healthy things in life aren't as tempting. But when our world gets rocked, our faith gets put to the test, we aren't feeling very good spiritually, know we've messed up yet again in a certain sin area, etc., is when our flesh rares it's ugly head and wants to be fed. It wants to feel good at that moment. So thus the tempation of bad choices begins.
That's pretty much what happens when we are pursuing a healthy lifestyle physically. When we aren't seeing results right away, we want to put everything back on the shelf and say, this isn't working. I'm gonna do or eat whatever I want!
Well, the good news is that if we have received Christ as our personal Saviour, we don't have to "do" anything to make our salvation work. It's already been accomplished. But are we willing to believe that every word we read in the Bible, every piece of spiritual food we put into our spirit, is really making our lives here on earth more effective, more useful for His Kindgom, even if we don't see it coming into fruition right away? Our God wants us to press on, hang on, don't give up, and trust that when He says His word is Truth, and "is God-breadthed, good for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thorougly equipped for every good work" (2 Tim. 3:16), he means it.
Honestly, lately, reading the Bible has been like eating shredded wheat without the milk for me. I've been devouring my prayer books and have been reading other things that apply directly to my current needs, but the Bible has been kind of dry for me. But I really do want the Word to come alive to me again. But what will it take? I just have to trust that even if I don't feel it's doing anything anything today or any day, that really, anything that is God-breathed is still alive and active. And usually when it becomes dry to me, it's because I'm making it about what's in it for me, not what's in it for the glory of God.
It's so cool how God is using my current situation in changing eating habits to speak so directly to my relationship with Him as well, and help me realize how vital His words to me are through the Bible itself.
This song has spoken to me lately. It's a new one by Third Day that I'm sure many of you know by now. I'm having to constantly be reminded of God's love for me. And this song says it all:

Call My Name

It's been so long
since You felt like you were loved
So what went wrong
But do you know
There's a place where you belong
Here in My Arms

Chorus:
When you feel like you're alone in your sadness
It seems like no one else in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness
You just call My name and I'll be there
You just call My name and I'll be there

The pain inside Has erased your hope for love
Soon you will find That I'll give you all
That your heart could ever want
And so much more

Chorus:
When you feel like you're alone in your sadness
It seems like no one else in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness
You just call My name and I'll be there
You just call My name and I'll be there

You just call My name
You just call My name

Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive
Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive

You just call My name
You just call My name
You just call My name

The love I have for you is so alive
The love I have for you is so alive

You just call My name
You just call My name
You just call My name

I know I'm surrounded by a husband who loves me so much, friends that surround me with love and support and all that we as people need from each other. Yet when the enemy gets me to a place where I feel no one else understands me and I'm a hopeless case, I can call out to My Saviour, knowing that He understands me inside and out, and still loves me, and sees all the hope that I can't see. And that hope that Jesus brings, is what keeps me going.