Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Conquering Perfectionism

So to start out, over the past month and a half or so, I have been rejoicing over some major reconstruction that God has been doing in my walk with Him. And to add to that, what has been the icing on the cake is that my husband and I have both been going through the same thing at the same time, which is learning to get to know our Jesus intimately in a way we haven't experienced before. We're taking out all the do's and don't' in life that seem to keep us tripping over ourselves in trying to accomplish something in our own strength, and just simply pursuing a love relationship with our Lord and Savior and it has been nothing less than awesome to say the least. Christ Himself is revealing so many lies that we have been believing and we are finding Truths to counteract thatm. And in the process, Tim and I have become closer to each other than ever before. We are truly best friends now and are marveling at the Lord's hand in our lives now that our eyes have been opened to it. As we are falling more in love with Jesus, we are also falling more in love with each other. So yes, all the books that say that will happen are right. And not only that, we are loving others more than ever too and wanting those around us to experience what we are experiencing, because it is the Lord's desire as well as ours.
But as this is all happening, it is also exposing things in my life personally that God is wanting to remove, and as you see in my title, perfectionism is one of them. It has rared it's ugly head in my life way too long, and it is something that I am ready to say a final farewell to. I really never even knew I was a perfectionist til quite recently. It has left me frustrated in so many levels over the course of my life. I never could put a finger on the cause of the "symptoms" I was having over this. Because my picture of perfectionism was different that mine. And the way that it has manifested itself mostly is by way of me giving up on things too quickly. I have never been consistent about much of anything in my life and now I know why. Because I want to see a finished or pleasing result all too quickly, and when I don't, I think what I'm doing isn't working, so I quit. It has manifested itself through my housekeeping, my parenting approach, my nutrition stuff, and of course my spiritual walk,and I'm sure there's a huge list of other things that I could go on about.
All that to say, God has given me a very clear solution to this and that is finding satisfaction and pleasure in the process, or even the progress, that is happening in my life. Finding joy in the journey. Rejoice in the little steps forward that I've been taking all along. When I look back on my life, it astounds me at the growth that has taken place in me because of the Lord's hand in my life, even if today or tomorrow, I won't feel like I've grown. If I stumble, I must get back up and keep moving forward. Today was a day for instance that I really felt like I had taken several steps backward, but then the Words of Truth were resonating in me that I am no longer that old person I felt I was becoming again. "I am a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come." May I stand on the truth of what God has promised me, and not on what I feel on any given day.

I came across this other passage today and it really has encouraged me:

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires." 2 Peter 1:3-4

This verse really speaks what God is trying to pound into me. Through knowing Him intimately, His glory, His goodness, and His promises will be revealed and given. To think that He wants us to participate in His work and let us participate in the divine nature and let us experience what He is part of every day. Sounds like a perfect plan to me.