Saturday, August 28, 2010

Wholehearted Trust

Some who read this may already know, but a week ago today, I found out that I was pregnant. It was a big surprise to us. Then, within 24 hours, I began to have complications. I went to the docs last Monday to do the usual tests and ultrasound. Though things still seem to be in tact, there has been some fear that things may not be progressing like they should from one of the tests they ran. Now we go back Tuesday to do more of the same to get a better idea about what is going on. It has been a roller coaster for me over the past 6 days. I've had every thought, fear, doubt, faith, hope, more fear, you name it going through my mind and heart all week. But as I have been praying and and have had many many others praying for us, the peace that surpasses all understanding has fallen on me the past 36 hours. It's been amazing. I feel good about the outcome and am just having to wait til Tuesday to find out what is going on for sure at this point.
All that to say, I want to share this prayer that the Lord gave me yesterday that I am praying daily, even sometimes multiple times daily, and I'd love to have others join me in prayer if you would like. I am standing on His promises and trusting Him in this, even though I may not feel it all the time.
So here it goes:

Dear Lord Jesus,

I am asking for your manifest power and love to be evident during this time. Thank you that you have set the path before me and that my eternal pleasures are in your right hand. Thank you that you go before and behind me as a shield of protection and as my Shepherd when I am lost and confused. Especially now. I proclaim right now that You are my rock that I can set my feet firmly on no matter what happens or how I feel. Thank you that this life inside of me is in Your arms no matter what.

Father God, I thank you that you love your children and that you love giving good gifts to your children. I will say with an honest heart that I want this baby to survive in my womb and that I want to meet this child face to face while we are still here on earth. But if it is your will to take this child into your arms in heaven, then I will choose to trust that your plan is better than mine, even if my heart breaks, even if I get angry, even if I feel despair, and even if I lose my grip on You or lose faith. Thank you that you never lose your grip on me and that you will ultimately use this experience to reveal yourself to Tim and I in a mighty way. We want your will and your plan over ours, even if we don’t feel it. That is the heart you gave us…to ultimately fulfill your plan and your will.

Lord, I need you now more than I can express and you know that. Help my eyes to be fixed on You and that any other things that want to get me distracted or discouraged, that you will put your hands square on my shoulders, look at my face and give me the strength, courage, and faith to walk forward and seek you no matter what happens. Bless this life in me, bless my friends who have been praying for me. And as a little extra prayer, if it’s your will, make my hormone levels skyrocket to where they should be to sustain this life. And give the doctors and nurses wisdom and a more compassionate and sensitive heart toward me to give me a peace that I am in the right hands with them.
I ask all these things in the name of Jesus,


Psalm 16:8

"I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."

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