A verse we have all heard many times. I read it yesterday for the thousandth time as I was going through a review study of "Lies Women Believe". I finally stopped at "your own understanding" and decided to ask the Lord to reveal MY own understanding so that I can begin to remove more obstacles that are preventing me from trusting Him. Because according to that verse, our understanding will get us nowhere. So...um....ouch....yeah, He answered me. I pulled out my journal and started writing down what "my own understanding" really means...LIES. And the ones God revealed to me are those really suttle thoughts that quickly come right after you read a truth, hear a truth, or even are talking to someone or even God about truths you are trying to believe. I have been beating my head against a wall lately about why it is I still am not living life the way God intends. Why I'm still falling short. Why I still am not acting out what I say I want to, what I tell others they should believe or receive.
The sermon we had at church Sunday was all about hearing God speak to us and to not just be hearers of what He says, but to let Him do through us what He says He wants to do. To let him reveal His love to us the way He wants. God's word is true in every aspect of my life...so the Bible says. But why I am not living as if it's true? Well, I finally have realized that I'm still believing those suttle thoughts that the enemy wants me to think aren't there, the ones I just brush off. That I really just "subconsciously" think but don't realize I'm actually believing them based on my response. Um, yeah, those suttle thoughts are actually my biggest hurdles, even mountains that are getting in my way.
So here's some examples of what I wrote down that God revealed:
1. If I say, "God, speak to me today about what your will is in this situation, or what it will take for me to follow you with all my heart", that little voice says "You can't handle what God is going to tell you. You'll fail at it. It'll just be too hard". And most of the time, I agree, and stop listening to God!
2. If I start thinking about calling a friend in need, or reaching out to some lost neighbors or friends, that voice says "what if you scare them away, or what if you say the wrong thing, mess up the relationship or even mess up a relationship before it's even started". Makes sense to me, so I agree...ouch!
3. When I want to start discipling my kids or sharing God with them more, that voice says "do you really think they'll listen? What if they think you aren't making any sense? It might just be a waste of time. Maybe they just aren't ready to hear yet." I say yeah, probably....then I cave.
So you get the picture. But what if I turned the tables and answered back to the lies:
1. "Will my kids really listen to me? Will the really understand anything I'm teaching them? What if it is a waste of time"
Answer back: Jesus said "Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven". Matt. 19:14
See all the "me's" in the doubt? It's actually true that if I depend on my own abilities, yeah, I'll mess up and they probably won't listen. But if I can draw in His power and let Him penetrate their hearts, that's when the receiving happens.
2. "What if that neighbor or friend rejects me? What if I mess up the relationship by trying to bring Jesus into it?" Ouch!!
Answer back: Since when did Jesus mess up friendships? I may mess it up, but He won't if I let Him speak through me.
3. "What if what God tells says to me is too hard to hear or I fail?"
And this one takes us back to my first point of Truth:
"Trust the Lord with all our heart and lean not on your own understanding".
Now to just believe it and live it!